I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
