I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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