It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
