i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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