If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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