when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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