Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
