I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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