Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
