The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I forget how to act sober
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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