Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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