hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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