im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
