Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
