I cockslap morals
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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