Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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