At least make sure they are 18
Why
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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