I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
