Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
