Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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