so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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