my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
