Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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