Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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