I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
