He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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