i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
