It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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