Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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