i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He better not be in your backpack
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
