Kiss
Puke
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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