I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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