Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
