idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
