I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
