if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize