I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
