Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
