My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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