He had one of those small greek statue penises
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
