I haven't been this sober since birth.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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