well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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