bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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