We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
