i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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