Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
