i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
