I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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