i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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