I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
