Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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