Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
