Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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