i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
