Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
