So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
