shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
