I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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