dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
