is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
